I really, really hate the “performative” voice. Like, when people add that extra rich quality to the lilt and weight of their tone? I HATE IT. I hate the “HEAR YE, HEAR YE I AM NOW PUTTING ON AIRS” voice. It makes me want to stab things.
THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE, I’m not denying that. When I give speeches, I employ the performative voice, to a degree. Clearly actors and poets use it at readings and performances. But, like, isn’t it better when you can be (or at least sound) 100% authentic? Shouldn’t we strive for that?
I hate it most when I am around people I know, and they put on the performative voice to (1) ask me for something, (2) ask me about something to which I might respond poorly, (3) start mansplaining shit to me, and most of all (4) when we are just talking about regular everyday things, oh my GOD.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO USE THE CONDESCENDING PERFORMATIVE VOICE WHEN YOU ARE ASKING ME IF THE WASHER IS “FREED UP BY NOW” OH MY GOD. You could have said, “Hey, I noticed your clothes have been in the washer for, like, two days, girl! It is time to move them along.” And if this was said in a friendly, congenial tone, we would have zero problems, okay? Instead, it was POMPOUS ASSHOLE TIME. Ugh.
Anyway. Performative voice. It can kiss my ass.
